Christmas Quest Read online

  ‘Yes, please!’ said Mummy.

  ‘I’m Rupert de Vere,’ the man introduced himself. He ran his fingers through his thick hair. ‘I’m a mountaineer. I’m distantly related to the Queen.’

  ‘I’m Mummy,’ said Mummy. ‘I’m an Antarctic explorer. I’m distantly related to a snow monkey.’ She took a long drink of champagne and burped.

  ‘Very pleased to meet you!’ Rupert de Vere smiled. He had big teeth, the sort that a guinea pig would be proud of. ‘What takes you to Peru?’

  Mummy looked about to make sure no one was listening. ‘The lost gold of Magchu Pigchu,’ she hissed. ‘A friend of mine’s had a tip-off. There are some robbers out looking for it. We need to find it first and help the Peruvian people save it!’

  Rupert de Vere shook his head sadly. ‘One can’t trust anyone these days.’ He settled back down in his seat.

  Coco felt her eyes closing. How lovely to meet someone who was related to the Queen. And who was posh, like her. She really hoped they’d bump into Rupert de Vere again, she thought as she fell into a deep sleep.

  *

  Two changes of plane later, they finally arrived at their destination.

  ‘Why on earth are there giant sheep outside the airport?’ asked Coco.

  Outside airports in Britain there is usually a row of taxis, but outside the tiny mountain airport in Peru, there was a row of furry animals as well.

  ‘They’re not giant sheep, they’re llamas!’ said Fuzzy, who knew about them from the Internet.

  The three guinea pigs peeped out of Ben’s backpack.

  ‘Holy guacamole!’ Eduardo cried. ‘I don’t believe it! This is near where my family lives!’

  ‘Will we get to meet them?’ asked Fuzzy excitedly.

  ‘Maybe,’ Eduardo said. ‘Hola, amigos!’ Eduardo greeted the llamas happily. ‘They will take us up into the mountains,’ he explained.

  Just then an old woman, who was even tinier than Mummy and wearing an even bigger duffel coat, approached the group.

  ‘Welcome, welcome!’ She gave Mummy a big hug. ‘You must be Ben and Henrietta! I’m Dolores. Delighted you could join the adventure. Together we will find the lost gold of Magchu Pigchu before those rotten robbers do!’ Then she bent down and said hello to the animals. Eduardo ducked down inside Ben’s backpack just in time. None of the humans knew he was there. In fact none of the humans knew he was anywhere, because they had never seen him.

  ‘Come along! We need to get to the camp before nightfall,’ said Dolores. Ben helped her load the luggage on to the llamas’ backs. The little group moved off, with Husky trotting alongside.

  The guinea pigs could see massive snowy mountains in front of them. Eduardo began to sing softly:

  ‘I’m Agouti, my beauty,

  Los mountains are my home,

  My peoples live in freedom,

  Among the grass we roams.’

  ‘Shh!’ Coco chattered at him. ‘The humans will hear you!’

  ‘I am so happy to be home I cannot shush,’ Eduardo laughed. But he managed to hum quietly to himself as the procession made its way slowly along a track to the camp at the base of the mountains.

  Dolores had booked a cabin for them.

  ‘It’s pretty basic,’ she said, opening the cabin door, ‘but I think you’ll find it comfortable.’

  The cabin had two sets of bunk beds, a table and chairs, a tiny stove and a sink. As she looked at the plain walls, Coco felt a little sad not to be in her cosy hutch in Strawberry Park, with its Christmas decorations. But she soon cheered up when Ben and Henrietta made a bed for the guinea pigs by the stove and gave them some food. Husky munched some dog biscuits and lay down beside them. Then, when all the humans had gone to sleep, Eduardo crept out of the backpack and snuggled up too.

  ‘Muchos gracias, amigos,’ he said softly. ‘For this wonderful Christmas gift. Tomorrow you will meet my family.’

  *

  ‘Wakey, wakey!’

  Coco woke up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

  ‘Come!’ It was Eduardo. ‘The humans have gone!’

  Coco looked about. The cabin was empty. Husky and the humans must have gone up the mountain to look for the gold.

  Then Coco realized that Eduardo had disappeared too. All she could hear were sounds of scratching and banging.

  ‘Where are you?’ Fuzzy demanded.

  ‘Down here!’ Eduardo’s voice came from somewhere under the stove. ‘Hurry! There is a secret tunnel!’

  Fuzzy and Coco glanced at one another nervously. The last time they’d been down a secret tunnel they’d almost been buried in mud! And, when they came out the other end, Renard the fox was waiting to eat them.

  ‘No, thanks!’ Coco shuddered.

  ‘Amigos, I promise you, it is safe,’ Eduardo shouted. ‘My family uses it in the winter. When it becomes too cold in the burrow, they sneak into the cabins to warm up!’

  ‘You mean there’s a tunnel from every cabin to your home?’ Fuzzy asked.

  ‘Sure, amigo,’ Eduardo’s head poked out from under the stove. ‘We Agoutis love to dig. Besides, that way the mighty condor can’t catch us.’

  ‘All right then!’ Coco was happy to be bossed about for once because she was looking forward to meeting some Peruvian guinea pigs. And she didn’t want to get eaten by the condor. She wriggled down the pipe after Eduardo. ‘Come on, Fuzzy!’ she squeaked. ‘What are you waiting for?’

  4

  coco loco

  A few minutes later the guinea pigs emerged from the tunnel into Eduardo’s family burrow.

  ‘Welcome to my home,’ Eduardo said.

  Fuzzy and Coco stared in astonishment. All around them, guinea pigs were putting the final touches to their Christmas preparations.

  A warm fire glowed in the fireplace. Above it hung ten red-and-green woollen stockings. Delicate snowflakes made out of white thread dangled from the ceiling like spider webs. In the middle of the burrow stood a low table made out of a plank of wood. The table was covered with a gold cloth and set with ten place mats woven from hay. Beside each mat was a tiny cup made from a nutshell and painted blue. In the centre of the table was a pile of green tinsel.

  From somewhere beyond, in a part of the burrow Coco and Fuzzy couldn’t see, a delicious smell of cooking wafted towards them.

  ‘It’s beautiful!’ Coco breathed, gazing at the decorations.

  ‘Delightful!’ Fuzzy agreed, closing his eyes and sniffing the cooking.

  ‘Thank you, amigos.’ Eduardo threw down his satchel. ‘Hey, everyone,’ he shouted. ‘I’m home!’

  The Agouti guinea pigs turned in amazement.

  ‘Eduardo?’ A silver guinea pig with a grey nose emerged from the kitchen. She was a bit smaller than Eduardo, but had the same bushy eyebrows. Instead of a satchel she wore an apron and had a little crown on her head.

  ‘Mama!’ Eduardo yelled. He raced over and bowed, because even though she was his mum, she was still the Queen of the Agouti guinea pigs. Then he grabbed her round the middle, picked her up and gave her a huge hug.

  After that all the other guinea pigs crowded round, squeaking and squealing and hugging Eduardo and asking him questions in Spanish. Two baby ones who’d never even met Eduardo before because they hadn’t been born when he left threw themselves on top of the heap of happy furry creatures and started squealing madly with excitement.

  Eventually the squealing stopped. Eduardo shook off the babies and extended a paw towards Fuzzy and Coco. ‘Mama,’ he said, ‘I would like you to meet my good friends from London.’

  Fuzzy and Coco stepped forward. Fuzzy bowed. Coco curtsied. She wanted to show respect to the Queen of the Agoutis, but she also wanted it to be obvious that this was not the first time she had met a Queen.

  ‘Bienvenido!’ The Queen of the Agoutis smiled warmly. Then she clapped her paws and the Agouti guinea pigs scampered off in all directions.

  ‘They have gone to prepare a welcome feast,’ Eduardo explained
. ‘Come, amigos, let us sit by the fire and tell stories of olden times.’

  *

  Coco and Fuzzy sat on cushions, munching chickweed.

  Eduardo and his mum chattered away in Spanish. The babies tumbled around on the rug.

  Suddenly there was a gust of wind. Another guinea pig blew into the burrow through the front door.

  He looked very like Eduardo, except his fur was a deep copper colour with silver speckles, instead of black. And strapped across his back was a guitar, not a satchel.

  ‘Eduardo!’ he cried in amazement.

  ‘Bernardo!’ Eduardo replied.

  The two guinea pigs embraced.

  Bernardo’s eyes fell on Coco. ‘I am Bernardo Felipe Juan Carlos Jose Marino Ronaldo del Monte of Peru,’ he said smoothly. ‘Cousin of Eduardo.’

  Coco held out a paw. ‘I am Coco Loco del Posho of Buckingham Palace,’ she said, making up a posh name because she wanted to impress him.

  Eduardo frowned.

  ‘And I’m Fuzzy,’ Fuzzy said.

  Bernardo ignored him. ‘Coco?’ he said quickly. ‘Your name is Coco – like our lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean?’

  ‘So what?’ Eduardo said rudely. ‘What’s the big deal?’

  ‘You mean your mother hasn’t told you?’ Bernardo said, astonished. He strummed a few chords on his guitar.

  ‘Told me what?’ Eduardo demanded.

  The Queen of the Agoutis seemed to understand something was wrong, even though she didn’t speak much English. She started speaking to Eduardo in a low, sad voice. Her eyes filled with tears. One of the babies had to go and fetch her a tissue.

  When she finished there was a short silence.

  ‘Caramba!’ Eduardo looked shocked. ‘No way!’

  ‘Yes way, Eduardo,’ Bernardo picked out a melancholy tune on his guitar strings. ‘It is bad, no?’

  ‘What is?’ Coco demanded.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Fuzzy asked.

  Eduardo turned to his friends. ‘Remember, amigos, back in Strawberry Park, I told you about the Agouti legend of the lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean?’

  Fuzzy nodded seriously. ‘Unless the lucky cocoa bean is on the table at Christmas, the guinea pigs will all be eaten by the mighty condor.’

  ‘Something terrible has happened,’ Eduardo whispered. ‘The lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean is gone!’

  Fuzzy and Coco glanced towards the table. The green tinsel in the centre glittered brightly. But there was nothing on top of it.

  ‘It has been stolen by the condor.’ Eduardo bowed his head. ‘Without the cocoa bean, the Agoutis are doomed.’

  Coco gave him a pat. ‘Don’t worry about that old thing,’ she said. ‘I once had a lucky ribbon. I wore it every day for a month. Then Henrietta hoovered it up by mistake when I was having a bubble bath. It ended up in the bin covered in rubbish. I was really upset. But then Henrietta bought me a new one. After that, I didn’t look back. That’s what you need,’ she added brightly. ‘A new lucky charm.’

  Coco smiled. It had turned out to be quite a speech. And everyone seemed to be listening, even though they couldn’t all understand her.

  Bernardo had been listening hardest of all. He had a strange look in his eye: a sort of twinkly glow, like a set of Christmas-tree lights. Suddenly he jumped up, grabbed Coco’s paw and started kissing it. ‘Señorita!’ he cried. ‘That is a brilliant idea! And it has given me an even better one!’ He let out a quick volley of Spanish.

  The other guinea pigs crowded round Coco.

  Bernardo reached for his guitar and began to play. ‘Come, everyone. Let’s celebrate!’

  The guinea pigs squeaked and chattered and danced. The two babies scampered to the table and returned with a piece of green tinsel. They shaped it into a circle and placed it on top of Coco’s head, like a crown.

  ‘What’s happening?’ Coco asked. ‘I’m confused.’

  ‘I have no idea,’ Fuzzy said, getting off his cushion, ‘but it looks like a lot of fun.’ He joined in the celebration.

  Only Eduardo remained seated. ‘Now look what you’ve done,’ he said crossly.

  ‘What?’ Coco said. ‘What have I done?’

  ‘They think they have a new lucky charm,’ Eduardo growled, folding his front paws across his chest. ‘They think they don’t need the lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean any more. All because of you.’ He sounded furious.

  ‘Me? But why?’ Coco squeaked. ‘I don’t understand!’

  ‘Because you told them they could just get another one,’ Eduardo shouted over the din, ‘and your name is Coco. They think you are their new lucky charm!’

  The procession came to a halt. The Queen of the Agoutis gave a nod. Bernardo dropped down on his knees before Coco. ‘You are our guest of honour, Señorita Coco Loco del Posho of Buckingham Palace. We are at your service.’ He wiggled his whiskers. ‘Can I tempt you to a traditional Peruvian mud bath?’ he suggested. ‘It really makes your fur shine.’

  ‘Pah!’ Eduardo said in disgust. ‘I can’t take no more of this. We must recover our lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean from the condor before it is too late. Or there won’t be no more Christmases!’

  He got up to fetch his satchel.

  Coco stared after him. She hadn’t wanted this to happen. It wasn’t her fault. Anyway, for all Eduardo knew, she could be the Agoutis’ new lucky charm. Why not? She was better than some mouldy old cocoa bean any day.

  She fluffed out her fur and gave Bernardo a dazzling smile. ‘OK,’ she said, ‘I’ll have the mud bath. But can I chew my chickweed while I soak?’

  5

  the giant bird

  ‘Listen to me, amigos!’ Eduardo cried out to all the guinea pigs in the burrow.

  No one took any notice.

  ‘OK, don’t listen!’ cried Eduardo.

  And no one did listen. But he carried on anyway.

  ‘Remember … remember our great guinea-pig hero Indiana Pig!’

  But no one did remember. They just carried on with what they were doing. And Eduardo carried on with his speech:

  ‘Indiana Pig wasn’t scared of the condor. It was he who built the plane and flew to the top of the mountain to fight the mighty bird. Now we must follow in his paw-steps. We must find the plane and fix it. Then we can fly up to the condor’s nest and snatch our lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean back from under his beak. Who’s with me? Who, who, who?’

  ‘No one,’ Bernardo said. ‘You’d have to be crazy to do something like that.’

  Fuzzy hesitated. He wanted to help Eduardo, but his plan sounded impossible. ‘Coco,’ he whispered, ‘what should we do?’

  ‘I can recommend the mud bath,’ Coco replied, lying back and relaxing.

  ‘Pah! Then I will do it alone!

  Eduardo turned and marched out of the burrow. He looked up towards the top of the mountain. The snowcapped peaks glistened. The plane was up there somewhere, near the condor’s nest. He took a deep breath. If Indiana Pig wasn’t scared of the condor, then neither was he.

  He opened up his satchel and rummaged for his ski poles. Then he realized he’d left them in the burrow. All he had were some cotton buds that he’d found in the copse. ‘Holy guacamole!’ he muttered to himself. ‘This is going to take a while.’ He held one in each paw and stuck the bottom ends into the snow. Luckily no one had used them to clean their ears yet, so there wasn’t any yukky ear wax on the ends. He trudged forward, poking the sticks into the snow every time he took a step.

  *

  Eduardo plodded up the mountain, paw by paw. It started to snow and he had to put his head down to keep the snowflakes out of his eyes. He thought of nice things to keep him going. He thought of his friend Fuzzy and the way he danced on computer keyboards to write messages. He thought of his friend Coco and the pretty little bow in her hair. He thought of Indiana Pig and his brave adventure in the plane. He thought about how happy his mother would be when he brought back the cocoa bean from the condor’s nest.

  After he had thought of all th
ese things he stopped for a moment and rested. And, very quickly, he nodded off.

  *

  ‘QUARK!’

  Eduardo opened an eye. What was that terrible noise?

  ‘QUARK!’

  There it was again. He opened the other eye. Something was tickling his nose. It felt like a giant feather. He looked down. It was a giant feather. And it was attached to a giant bird.

  The condor!

  ‘What’s the problem, buddy?’ said a loud, deep voice from above his head. Eduardo looked up. A huge glassy eye was staring at him. Eduardo was terrified! He looked all around, searching for a way to escape. But there was none. He was surrounded by black feathers. Just then the feathers lifted, and Eduardo saw that he was at the very top of the mountain, on a pile of twigs. The condor had taken him to his nest!

  ‘Let me go!’ Eduardo shouted.

  ‘You ain’t going nowhere,’ said the voice. ‘No one escapes the mighty Peruvian condor.’

  ‘You don’t sound very Peruvian,’ said Eduardo.

  ‘I stole a laptop from some tourists. I watch a lot of films on it: American mainly. I picked up the accent.’

  The condor flicked Eduardo with his enormous black wing, pushing him back on to something hard. Eduardo turned around to see what he had landed on. He couldn’t believe his eyes – the Lucky Christmas Cocoa Bean!

  The condor laughed. ‘You pleased to see your little buddy again? Well, don’t go thinking you’re walking off into the sunset together. You’re both finished.’

  The condor fished under the twigs and emerged with his laptop. He balanced it on the nest and tapped the keyboard with a claw.

  ‘So, tell me the names of your buddies down the mountain. Maybe they’d like to join you.’

  ‘I’m not telling you nothing!’ Eduardo shouted.

  The condor shrugged. He pinned Eduardo down with one claw and tapped away on the keyboard with the other. ‘I know their names anyway. I found them on Micespace. Coco, ain’t it? And Fuzzy?’