Guinea Pigs Online Read online

  They froze.

  Banoffee was standing a little way away, near the thicket. Next to her was a guinea-pig protester she hadn’t seen before. He was big and orange, with pointy ears. Unusually for a guinea pig, he had a long, bushy tail.

  “Oh no!” Fuzzy gulped. “It’s Renard.”

  10

  Shovel Off!

  “My kids aren’t frightened of anything or anyone,” said Banoffee proudly. “I reckon if they were here now, they wouldn’t even cry. I remember once—”

  “Excuse me,” said the fox, “but could you stop talking so I can eat you?”

  Banoffee gave him a disapproving look. “It’s rude to interrupt, you know.”

  “I had to,” replied the fox. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to say anything.”

  It was true. Banoffee had been talking for some time. This was partly because she always talked a lot about her kids and partly a tactic to stop the fox from eating her. And it was working.

  “You know, I think I’ll get out of here and go and live on the railway line,” said the fox wearily. “It’s covered in nettles, but I’d rather eat nettles than sit here listening to you chattering on.”

  Banoffee gave him another disapproving look. “You’re not very polite, you know.”

  The fox didn’t have a chance to answer because just then he and all the other animals in the thicket heard a human voice. Not the voice of the builder, who was on the phone to Mike again, complaining about his chewed eyebrows, but a woman’s voice.

  “There’s the digger!” It was Henrietta, Coco’s owner.

  “I don’t believe it!” said the man walking next to her. It was Ben, Fuzzy’s owner. “The bloggers were right.”

  The fox loped off to a gap in the fence that led to the railway line. All the other guinea pigs hid in bushes or behind trees or, for the smallest of Banoffee’s children, under a leaf.

  “How dare they try to build on this beautiful thicket!” said Henrietta.

  “Thank goodness we read those blogs,” said Ben.

  The builder was still on the phone when Ben and Henrietta reached him. Henrietta tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, surprised to see other people in the thicket.

  “You there,” said Henrietta firmly, “do you have permission to build on this land?”

  “I’ll call you back,” the builder said, then pocketed his phone. “Sort of,” he said, looking shifty.

  “I don’t believe you,” Henrietta snapped.

  All the guinea pigs listened carefully to what was said. They didn’t understand some of the words, like “council” and “protected land,” but they understood the really important ones like “go” and “now.” They looked on with glee as the builder climbed back into his cab, turned on the engine, reversed the digger, and drove out of the thicket. They wanted to cheer, but it would alert Ben and Henrietta to the fact that there were twenty guinea pigs hiding in the thicket.

  “Let’s go and write a comment on the blogs,” said Henrietta, “telling everyone the builder has gone.”

  “While you’re doing that, I’ll try and stand on my fingers,” said Ben.

  “Won’t that hurt?” asked Henrietta.

  “I don’t mean stand with my foot on my finger,” explained Ben. “I mean do a finger stand. It’s a yoga position, like a headstand, but harder.”

  “Well, good luck with that,” said Henrietta. “I’ll join you when I’ve finished on the laptop.”

  They held hands and walked off contentedly toward the house. As soon as they’d gone all the guinea pigs came out from their hiding places. They clapped and hugged and Banoffee’s children did a little dance.

  “Let’s have three cheers for Terry!” said Fuzzy. “If he hadn’t suggested the blog the builder would still be here. Just shows what good the Internet can do. Hip hip . . .”

  “Hang on,” said Terry, as everyone was taking a breath, ready to give a loud cheer, “it’s not all down to me. If Fuzzy hadn’t been so clever with the remote control, the kids might still be in that scoop.”

  “That’s true,” said Blossom, “although it was quite fun.”

  “Yes, but it was dangerous too,” said Banoffee.

  “So let’s have three cheers for Terry,” said Fuzzy. “Hip hip . . .”

  “Just a minute,” said Coco loudly, “but I think you’ll find it was all down to me dressing up as a Viking Queen, leading the longship, organizing the children, and putting the helmet under the builder’s bottom.”

  “Señors and señoritas,” said Eduardo wisely, “let us cheer for everyone, for we all played a part in the famous Viking Battle of the Thicket. Hip hip . . .”

  And they all cheered.

  When the cheering had died down, Olaf asked in a small voice, “Can I have my remote control back?”

  “Of course,” said Terry, handing it over.

  “You’re not a thousand years old, are you?” said Fuzzy quietly.

  “No,” said Olaf sadly. “But I do know an awful lot about history. That’s why I like pretending.”

  “I’ve got an idea,” said Sunbeam unexpectedly. “Why don’t you offer visits to the model Viking settlement here in the thicket, complete with longship ride?”

  Everyone turned and looked at Sunbeam. They’d more or less forgotten about her, perhaps because she’d been passed out most of the time.

  “That’s a really good idea,” Terry said. “You could charge three lettuce leaves for students and a cucumber slice for under-twelves.”

  “I could help you,” Sunbeam offered. “That is, if nobody minds.” She looked at Coco.

  “By the hair of Hercules, that would be fantastic!” Olaf cried.

  “I’ll bring the kids!” smiled Banoffee.

  “Of course we don’t mind!” Coco squeezed Sunbeam’s paw. She was glad they were all going to be special friends after all.

  If you had taken a stroll around Strawberry Park that evening you would have seen:

  Banoffee’s kids rowing down the stream in the longship with Olaf and Sunbeam;

  Banoffee using the free time to braid her fur;

  Eduardo writing a song about the Viking Battle of the Thicket;

  Ben and Henrietta in the garden telling their neighbors about the protest blogs;

  and, later on, Fuzzy and Coco, on their owners’ knees, full of juicy green grass and very happy after their exciting, boring, scary, silly, funny, and very, very tiring day.

  the end

  Be Safe Online!

  Surfing the internet is lots of fun, but there are some things Coco and Fuzzy want you to remember so that you stay safe online . . .

  Guinea Pigs OnLine

  G is for Go Away!

  Never chat online with people you don’t know. Never reply to messages from people you don’t know. Finally, never, ever agree to meet up with someone you have only met online—it could be dangerous!

  P is for Private!

  Never tell anyone your personal information, like where you live, your phone number, or your passwords. It’s your private information and that’s how it should stay—private.

  O is for Oh Really?

  You really can’t trust everything you read on the internet. Check any information you learn online with an adult to make sure it’s true—you might be surprised how much false information is out there!

  L is for Let an Adult Know

  Finally, you should always let an adult know about what you’re doing on the internet. And if you’re worried about something that you’ve seen or read online, tell a grown-up right away—adults can be really good at explaining things that might seem mysterious to you.

  You’re much better at using the Internet than Coco is . . .

  . . . so why not visit

  www.guinea-pigs-online.com

  for lots more fun, giggles and squeaks with your favorite furry pals!

  About the Authors and Illustrator

  Jennifer Gray is a lawyer. She lives in central London and Scotl
and with her husband, four children, and an overfed cat, Henry. Jennifer’s other books for children include a comedy series about Atticus Claw, the world’s greatest cat burglar.

  Amanda Swift has written for several well-established children’s TV series, including My Parents Are Aliens; she has also written three novels for middle-grade readers: The Boys’ Club, Big Bones, and Anna/Bella. She lives in southeast London, near the Olympic park. Unlike Coco, she hasn’t met the queen.

  Sarah Horne was born in Stockport, Cheshire, on a snowy November day, and grew up scampering in the fields surrounding Buxton, Derbyshire. She is propelled by a generous dose of slapstick, a love for color and line, a clever story, and a good cup of coffee.